Jerks in Relationships (What they don't tell you)

The ultimate burn book by MJ Astrology


Disclaimer* the easily offended need not continue reading LOL



[Use Sun/Moon/Rising/Mars]


Aries is immature, hot-headed, & acts like the world revolves around him. Actually enjoys unleashing his rage. Falls in love every other day. Treats you like he wants you to be more independent/courageous, but challenges you when you do. You’re just there to satisfy his undying need for novelty & sex (duh).



Taurus is the heavy-eating, deep-sleeping metro sexual. Always touching or caressing you. Like alllll the time. You can bet if this one hasn’t eaten he turns from bæ to bull v fast. Also, the dude is so predictable.





Gemini is the most charming of snakes. Within seconds of meeting you he likely has your whole life figured out & isn’t above using his cunning ways to get what he wants. Lies lies lies. Ghosts almost as flawlessly as a Pisces.





Cancer is a total mommy’s boy. He needs you more than he wants you. Plays the sweet “I’ve been…hurt before” bs. You think he’s in love but honey, unless he’s dropped it all & crowned you The One — you ain’t shit. Appears chill, but underneath manipulation level is x1,000.





Leo if you’re not a total catch, he won’t even look twice, that is… unless he needs his cheap routine ego validation. The more confident he is, the less likely you are to make the cut. Low-key competitive with other dudes in your life. 90% of the time you’re just arm candy he needs to make himself appear a certain way. & someone take that pocket mirror away from him! Smh.



Virgo Awkward usually. If he’s not a total slob, he’s the tight-assiest, nit-pickiest little shit you’ll ever meet. He notices every. thing. about. you.

Libra is a charmer for sure, keep your eyes peeled. He’s popular, usually handsome & good at much of what he takes a swing at (this is not news to him). Also you’re not special babe, he likes everyone.



Libra is a charmer for sure, keep your eyes peeled. He’s popular, usually handsome & good at much of what he takes a swing at (this is not news to him). Also you’re not special babe, he likes everyone.







Scorpio is the one that drew out a long, elaborate scheme to court you (power prblms). Meanwhile, you’re squirming for your freedom as you’re being psychoanalyzed. Jealous & clinically insane. Isn’t as loyal as others claim. You’re just a specimen through which he validates his ability to become like a drug to other people.



Sagittarius “Ha ha ha” he says. Everything is just a big laugh. This one has such an insatiable thirst for p*ssy it’s unreasonable. Foreigners are a delicacy. Late everywhere, argues randomly about religion/politics or anything else he can’t change or is unqualified to have a credible opinion on, disappears when you least expect it, & is generally unreliable. 👍🏽 Nice pick



Capricorn is buried in his work life, you come second. He’s skeptical, critical, rigid & cheap as they come. Easily turned off when you act like anything other than ultra-femme or conversely, if you expose your weakness. 😒 You’re just there for him to relieve stress after a long day at work.




Aquarius is detached & indifferent. A total sarcastic weirdo who swears he doesn’t need validation from some external source. *He’s actually dying inside for you to laugh at his weird comments* Favorite phrase is “I know” & favorite time to use phrase is any time you’re speaking.



Pisces is totally off his rocker if y’namean. Plays victim way too well. Or is hell-bent on saving you. Confused, wandering, idealistic & weak-willed. Fears you’ll never “understand” him, but doesn’t know what he wants in the slightest.






"Bitches in relationships" is up next - stay tuned...


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